Cabaretti Cacophony precon upgrade guide

Kitt Kanto can spend two untapped creatures at the start of every player's combat, and the box gets there slowly: eight of its lands enter tapped and nothing in it doubles a token.

Kitt's trigger is a bill paid in bodies. Each use taps two creatures, they stay tapped until your next untap step, and a four-player pod gives you three other combats to spend them in. The box has 23 creatures to pay with, twelve of them at mana value three or less, and a lot of cards that make tokens. What it doesn't have is a multiplier. There's no token doubler in the 100, so a Citizen is one Citizen.

The second finding is the mana. Eight of the 38 lands enter tapped every time: Jungle Shrine, Myriad Landscape, Path of Ancestry, Temple of Triumph, Thriving Bluff, Thriving Grove, Thriving Heath and Windbrisk Heights. Another six are conditional. White pays for it. Four spells print {W}{W} (Grand Crescendo, March of the Multitudes, Martial Coup and Rumor Gatherer), the box has 24 white sources, and the calculator gives {W}{W} by turn three 69.4% of the time on the play.

What are the best Cabaretti Cacophony upgrades?

The multiplier first, then the cards that use it, then the removal and the lands. Prices are October 2026 market prices at the cheapest released printing, which can be a promo.

1. Parallel Lives ($27.93). If an effect would create tokens under your control, it creates twice as many. Kitt's Citizen becomes two, Hero of Bladehold's Soldiers become four, and every token spell with an X in the list doubles: Grand Crescendo, March of the Multitudes, Martial Coup and Sylvan Offering. It's the green doubler because green is the better-supplied color, with 30 sources after the swaps. The Marvel Universe printing is the cheapest at $27.93, and the next one down is $38.90.
2. Hero of Bladehold ($0.61) and Mirror Entity ($1.03). Hero puts two tapped and attacking 1/1 Soldiers onto the battlefield every time it attacks and gives the other attackers +1/+0. Mirror Entity turns every creature you control into an X/X until end of turn for {X}, so a board of 1/1 Citizens attacks as 6/6s on six spare mana.
3. Cathars' Crusade ($4.49) and Impact Tremors ($2.66). Crusade puts a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control whenever a creature enters under your control, and Tremors deals 1 damage to each opponent each time one does. Both trigger once per token, so both scale with the doubler.
4. Swords to Plowshares ($0.99). At instant speed the box already has Path to Exile, Beast Within (which leaves the owner a 3/3) and the damage mode of Cabaretti Charm for a creature. Swords is a second one-mana exile, and the creature's controller gains life equal to its power.
5. Return of the Wildspeaker ($1.51). At instant speed it draws as many cards as your biggest non-Human creature’s power, or gives those creatures +3/+3. Kitt, the Citizens and Hero's Soldiers all count. Don't activate Mirror Entity first, because that gives every creature you control all creature types, Human included, and Return only counts non-Humans.
6. Sacred Foundry ($10.03), Stomping Ground ($7.35) and Temple Garden ($6.50). Three lands that make two colors and enter untapped for 2 life, argued in the mana section. They're $23.88 of the $63.10 and all three are reprinted on 13 November 2026, so they're the part to buy last.

What Kitt's trigger spends, and who it points at

The trigger happens at the beginning of combat on each player's turn. You may tap two untapped creatures you control, and when you do, a creature controlled by the player whose turn it is gets +2/+2 and trample until end of turn and is goaded. A goaded creature has to attack each combat if able until your next turn, and has to attack someone other than you. On an opponent's turn that is a push toward a third player, and the two creatures you tapped can't block.

Tokens are the cheapest thing to tap, which is why the adds look the way they do. Hero of Bladehold's Soldiers arrive tapped and stay tapped until your next untap step, so they pay for Kitt on your next turn and not before. Mirror Entity, Cathars' Crusade and Impact Tremors all want more bodies, and Parallel Lives makes more of them from each source. The cuts below are the cards that make that engine slower or that Kitt already covers.

Seven cuts: what Kitt already does, and what the plan can't afford

False Floor makes every creature enter tapped, and Kitt's cost is two untapped creatures. Its exile mode hits every untapped creature at sorcery speed, yours included. It works against the plan at every step.

Kazuul, Tyrant of the Cliffs makes a 3/3 Ogre when a creature attacks you, unless its controller pays {3}. Kitt's goad sends its target at someone else whenever it can. The card costs {3}{R}{R}, and the calculator gives {R}{R} by turn five 78% of the time on the box's 23 red sources.

Scepter of Celebration gives +2/+0 and trample for {2}{G} and equip {3}. Kitt gives +2/+2 and trample at every combat for no mana. Bloodthirsty Blade moves onto an opponent's creature for {1} at sorcery speed, giving it +2/+0 and goad. Kitt already goads a creature at each combat you pay for, and the Blade leaves +2/+0 on a creature you don't control until you move it.

Sandwurm Convergence is the only eight-drop, at {6}{G}{G}, and makes a 5/5 at each of your end steps. The list already has 13 nonland cards that cost five or more to cast. Cabaretti Confluence costs six for three modes, and answering an artifact or enchantment is covered at two mana by Artifact Mutation and Aura Mutation, which destroy it and leave Saprolings. Magus of the Wheel pays for its ability by sacrificing itself, a body Kitt could have tapped, and then every player discards their hand and draws seven. That refills your opponents as well as you.

The four expensive cards I'm leaving alone

Four cards that cost five or six mana stay, and each has a job. Phabine, Boss's Confidant gives your tokens haste and, at the start of each of your combats, makes a Citizen for every land revealed from the top of each player's library, and then every player draws a card. It also doubles with Parallel Lives. Boss's Chauffeur enters with one counter plus one for each other creature you control, grows with each entering creature and leaves that many Citizens when it dies, so it's a body that pays back its mana.

Gahiji, Honored One is the odd one: any creature attacking one of your opponents gets +2/+0, including creatures Kitt has just sent at a third player. Crash the Party creates a tapped 4/4 Rhino for each tapped creature you control. Kitt's two tapped creatures count, so it's a six-mana instant that gets better after a Kitt trigger, or after an attack, when your creatures are tapped.

Two colorless lands and a tapped white one make room for three shocklands

Myriad Landscape enters tapped and makes colorless mana, with a sacrifice ability that costs {2} to fetch up to two basics that share a land type. Ash Barrens makes colorless mana and can cycle for a basic at {1}. Windbrisk Heights enters tapped and makes only white. Out go all three, and Sacred Foundry, Stomping Ground and Temple Garden come in. After the swap the box has 30 green sources instead of 29, 24 red instead of 23, and white stays at 24. Always-tapped lands fall from eight to six, and the three shocklands are the conditional kind: untapped for 2 life, tapped if you'd rather keep it.

The shocklands do two more jobs. They carry basic land types, so each Sacred Foundry or Temple Garden is a Plains for Castle Ardenvale and each Sacred Foundry or Stomping Ground is a Mountain for Castle Embereth. A shockland in hand is also a Forest or Plains card to reveal for Fortified Village, and a Mountain or Forest card for Game Trail.

Windbrisk Heights is the closest call. Its hideaway card can be played free for {W} and a tap if you attacked with three creatures, and this deck gets three attackers easily. I still cut it, because a tapped land that makes one color is the weakest use of a land slot in a three-color deck. Ash Barrens is the cut to reverse if you don't want to pay 2 life for untapped lands. White doesn't improve in this list. The adds Hero of Bladehold and Cathars' Crusade each print {W}{W}, which takes the count of such spells from four to six, so the swaps make the white problem slightly bigger and the mana smoother.

Four pricier cards I passed on, and the reason for each

Anointed Procession ($57.08) does the same doubling for {3}{W}. It was skipped on price, because Parallel Lives does the job for $27.93 and is cast from green's 30 sources instead of white's 24. Doubling Season ($28.22) also doubles counters and costs one mana more. The FAQ has the comparison. Smothering Tithe ($56.23) is a Game Changer, so it alone would take the deck from a Bracket 1 floor to Bracket 3, and the price is a second reason it's out. Windswept Heath ($12.02) is the next mana purchase if white is the color you keep missing. None of the ten adds is a Game Changer, and the box has none.

Two fewer tapped lands, the same 38

Average mana value falls from 3.46 to 3.34, and nonland cards that cost five or more to cast go from 13 to 12 even with Cathars' Crusade and Return of the Wildspeaker coming in. (Indulge // Excess has a combined mana value of 5 but casts for three and for two, so I don't count it.) The list stays at 38 lands and 23 creatures, and the bracket floor stays at 1. Lands that always enter tapped go from eight to six, and conditional lands from six to nine. Green sources go from 29 to 30, red from 23 to 24, white stays at 24, and spells printing {W}{W} go from four to six. The adds cost $63.10.

The upgraded decklist

Hover or tap a card name for the card.

Load into the deck builder Copy decklist Playtest the upgraded deck

“Load into the deck builder” opens this list in your account, pinned to the printings the box shipped, ready to edit or save. “Copy decklist” gives you plain text for Moxfield, Archidekt or Arena, with no account needed.

FAQ

Does Kitt Kanto's trigger only ever help my own creatures?

No. It targets a creature controlled by the player whose turn it is, so on an opponent's turn it pumps and goads one of theirs, and on your turn it lands on one of yours. Either way the target gets +2/+2 and trample until end of turn and is goaded, so it has to attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if it can. You pay by tapping two untapped creatures you control as the trigger resolves, and those two can't block that turn.

Which of the new shocklands can Wood Elves fetch?

Stomping Ground and Temple Garden, because both have the Forest type and Wood Elves searches for a Forest card. Sacred Foundry is a Mountain Plains with no Forest type, so it's out of reach. Sakura-Tribe Elder and Cultivate fetch basic lands only, and none of the three shocklands is basic. Wood Elves doesn't say the land enters tapped, so you can pay the 2 life to have it come in untapped or skip the payment.

Is Parallel Lives or Doubling Season the better doubler for Kitt's tokens?

Doubling Season does everything Parallel Lives does and also doubles counters, which Cathars' Crusade, Boss's Chauffeur, Champion of Lambholt and Felidar Retreat's counter mode all put down. It costs five mana against four, and it's $28.22 against $27.93. I chose Parallel Lives because the list still has 12 cards that cost five or more to cast after the swaps, and a doubler a turn earlier doubles Hero of Bladehold's Soldiers a turn earlier. If you'd rather pay the extra mana, Doubling Season is the one that also doubles counters.

Is Kazuul worth keeping next to Kitt Kanto?

Not in my list. Kazuul makes an Ogre only when a creature attacks you and its controller doesn't pay {3}, and Kitt's goad sends its target at someone else whenever it can. It also costs {3}{R}{R}, and the calculator gives {R}{R} by turn five 78% of the time on the box's 23 red sources. If your pod attacks you a lot anyway, it's a fine card, but it's the one cut here that depends on how your table plays.

Can Hero of Bladehold be cast on time with only 24 white sources?

Not always. Hero costs {2}{W}{W}, and the swaps leave white at 24 sources, which is 69.4% for {W}{W} by turn three on the play. About three games in ten, you're short on white at that point. Windswept Heath ($12.02) in place of a Forest takes white to 25 in the calculator's count, because it can fetch Temple Garden or Sacred Foundry. I left it out because it adds one source each to two colors for $12.02.

Does Gahiji's bonus apply to creatures Kitt goads?

Yes. Gahiji triggers when any creature attacks one of your opponents, whoever controls it, so a goaded creature sent at a third player gets +2/+0 on top of the +2/+2 and trample from Kitt. A creature that attacks you gets nothing. That's the reason Gahiji stays in the list even though it costs five.

What does upgrading Cabaretti Cacophony cost?

$63.10 for all ten adds at October 2026 market prices, using the cheapest released printing of each. Parallel Lives is $27.93 and the three shocklands together are $23.88, which leaves $11.29 for the other six. All three shocklands are reprinted in Star Trek on 13 November 2026, so buy those last: the price may drop. Without them the adds are $39.22, and you'd skip the three land cuts too, so the mana stays as the box shipped it.